Why the answer varies
Hindu ritual practice is not centralized, as Dharmashastra interpretation, regional custom, family lineage, and priestly tradition can lead to varied outcomes.
This implies that broad internet assertions, such as "women are never able" or "there have never been any limitations," oversimplify a nuanced history.
Family responsibility in real life
Modern families may consist solely of daughters, reside in different countries, or have a daughter taking a more hands-on role in caring for the deceased compared to male relatives. These changes have prompted households to reassess long-held beliefs.
The ethical query is: who has the ability to uphold remembrance with authenticity and accountability?
How to navigate disagreement
For families who value formal ritual correctness, it is recommended to seek guidance from a knowledgeable priest within your tradition and inquire about the rationale behind the practices, rather than simply following strict guidelines.
When family members have differing opinions, it is important to refrain from transforming traditional ceremonies into a divisive dispute that undermines the bonds of the past.
A broader principle
Shraddh focuses on the importance of gratitude, honoring one's lineage, and fulfilling one's duties. Families can uphold these principles while recognizing that societal expectations may evolve.
Approaching with respect allows for the honoring of tradition, interpreting texts, and acknowledging the practicality of those present to honor ancestors.